Asking for help is hard.
I will be the first to admit I don't do it enough and don't do it often. I am definitely one of those do it yourself, superwomen wannabe, just get er done kind of gals.
But why is it so gosh dang hard to just ask for help?!
This new journey that our family has embarked on has been difficult. It is hard to care for a special needs child. Its hard to administer so many medications into such a sweet little baby. Its hard to just leave the house when you have to remember you have monitors that follow you. And its hard emotionally. Its hard to think about the future and whats to be. Its hard to worry 24/7 about that cough, sneeze, twitch, and movement.
It has been an exhausting task trying to follow a very active three year old around the house with a 24 pound baby and and IV pole in tow. So... I asked for help. I asked for help not just for Brecken and our family, but quite frankly for myself. For me.
This week was the first week that Brecken has had his own private nurses come to the house to help take care of him. It was the first week where I was able to do the dishes, have folded clean laundry done, and I actually showered! I was able to do all of this while Brecken was in the good care of a nurse who is trained to take care of a special needs child.
And although it's help, its obviously something that will take time to get used to. Getting used to sharing your home with someone all day. And for sure being able to trust these people with your baby so that you are able to leave the house for periods of time. (Maybe to just run across the street to get milk for starters).
But I asked for help for me. To allow me time for proper self care. Time to focus on myself. Time to allow me to do things during the day that will allow for family time in the evening. Allow me to focus more attention and time with Easton. Because I have learned one thing. I need to take care of myself in order to take care of my babies and my family. To allow me to feel just a little bit less stressed so I can enjoy these days with my family that much more. To allow me to be present.
I asked for help for me but really for my family.
It was difficult but I think it is going to be worth it.