Sunday, May 10, 2020

Happy MommingStrong Day!!

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

To all YOU mommas, to those with littles running around, to the new moms, to the old moms, to the moms with infants, toddlers, middle schoolers, to the moms with kids college bound, to those moms who have become grandmas, and great grandmas, and great great grandmas, to the mothers in heaven, and the moms who have a little bit of heaven in their heart, to the moms who have children in their arms, and the moms who have children only in their hearts, to the adopted moms, to the step moms, to the moms who have littles growing inside, to the first time moms, and the twelve time moms, to the struggling moms, and the pinterest moms, to the stay at home moms, and the working hard moms, to the moms we know and love, and to all those mom we see walking around us.

You are special.
You are loved.
You are so very important.

Today is that special day we get a little extra credit. But we all know that every day is Mothers Day. Every day, 24 hours a day, we do our best to be a Mom. We love every single bit of being a mom, yet we struggle and have hard days as well. But we are all just doing our bestest. And thats ok. We are all amazing!

This Mothers Day has been kind of filled with a variety of emotions. I get to snuggle and kiss the 5 year old boy that I have here beside me. My heart yearns for that sweet little boy flying above me. And I feel the overwhelming excitement and joy of feeling the wiggles and moves of the little one growing inside of me.

These three littles are my world. They are the ones who have made me the Mom and woman I am today and I am so very grateful for that.

So today is for all you Moms. Have a good one, no matter what kind of mom you are.
Much love from MommingStrong.

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Pregnancy Through A Pandemic

Like I said before, pregnancy after loss is hard. Through the joy, happiness, and hope comes the fears, the isolation, and the high anxiety.

But then to add to it all, the coronavirus. That scary, silent disease overtaking this world. Through this entire pregnancy I have been so diligent about keeping my baby safe. Don't eat this, don't lift heavy objects, exercise, drink lots of water, etc. And now Stay At Home!

Today I am 20 weeks! HALF WAY there!! An exciting time to go in for a check up, and the best part, the ultrasound. Although this time I had to go alone. I felt terrible when they told me my husband wasn't allowed to come with me for this much anticipated appointment. He wasn't able to be there to watch our little peanut wriggle and move around. Thank goodness for technology, he was able to use face-time for a short time to see a little bit, but definitely was not the same.

I was also scared of walking into a clinic/urgent care facility that might be filled with germs. Luckily a wonderful friend gave me a mask to wear so I felt a little safer. The clinic did a great job of escorting me to a safe space right away and it went smooth and I felt safe the entire time.

But the most difficult part of this pandemic is staying at home.... It has been SO hard! Since about the middle of March I have been good about not going anywhere. I haven't gone to Target or any store in weeks. It has been (thankfully) convenient to order groceries online and have them dropped off at my door. But then, as we call it, go through the decontamination process of cleaning it all. Using hand sanitizer, washing hands, and lysol wipes a plenty.  But I will do my best to keep myself, my baby, and my family safe.

These times are weird. Its difficult and its different. Its scary and its crazy. I hope every day that this will be going downhill by the time August comes around and I can happily and safely welcome this little one into the world. I hope in the years to come I have a good story to tell them about getting through this pandemic.

So my note to all of you, to my village. STAY HOME. Follow the guidelines. Keep those loved ones around you safe and healthy. Thank you all to those health care workers and all my fellow favorite Nurses for all you do! I am glad I am able to stay at home and not work at this time. Thank you to the delivery workers and grocery shoppers also. Thank you.

No matter what, we are in this together.

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

One Running Beside Me, One Flying Above Me, and One Growing Inside

I am sure you have noticed I have been a little bit quiet on here for the last few months. And that's because pregnancy after loss is scary and incredibly isolating.  It is full of an extreme amount of emotions, stress, yet with of course all the happiness and joy.

Ever since I was little I dreamed of having a large family. I "said" I wanted 6 kids!! But the moment they handed me my sweet boy after a month of being intubated and told us that he had Alpers was the moment our lives changed. Our world not only crashed, but my life as a mommy changed too.

It took us quite awhile to think about and talk about growing our family after the loss of Brecken. It was scary and daunting and I just wasn't sure just what our future would hold. After weighing out our options, it was decided that we were most comfortable doing IVF (in vitro fertalization) with PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis).

Although our most expensive option, we knew with this decision it would give us the peace of mind that our future children would be tested and free from the Alpers that took Brecken away.

Science is incredible. I mean really. Amazing. Baby K3 (what we have named him/her for now) might have started out in a science lab but is now growing incredibly inside of me. And that in itself has no explanation.

I couldn't be more excited to feel baby's kicks and moves soon. I love hearing baby's heartbeat. This baby is so extremely loved already and means so much to our family. I hope in the days and months ahead I can give you a little part of my story. My story of truly MommingStrong.